A Change in Culture - Changing Normalcy.

Changing culture can either be easy or hard. The sad thing is it is a personal choice, not a societal issue. We are forcing a culture change in the United States right now. It is because of how we are handling the current pandemic crisis. Suicide hotlines are up over 300 percent. Other help groups are seeing a boom in things. As a 12 step practitioner myself, I am seeing a baseline cultural change in how we do things. But there is hope.

These changes are neither bad nor good. But they could be awful if we define normal the way we used to. That is the part we seem to have lost from the “Greatest Generation” who acted selflessly, in fighting the Axis Powers. Accepting reality is why they went to fight. If we did not defeat the Axis Powers, everybody knew they would be here, eventually.

I have to be amazed at what happened in the first part of the 20th century. People were in two camps on the idea of flying, it was not possible, or it was 50 years in the future. Then there was Kittyhawk and the Wright brother. In the 30 years between Kittyhawk (1903), and 1933, when Adolf Hitler was just getting off the ground, we went from first flight to the founding of PanAm Airlines in 1927. From there to landing on the moon in 1969. In 63 years we went from zero to hero. Now we have more changes to deal with. And again the secret is to accept what is true, and move forward.

This is not even the first major Pandemic, since the flight of the Wright Brothers. What became known as the “Spanish Flu” (the first case seems to have been in Alabama in 1917). We fought a war, and that pandemic may have even helped shorten that war, though it killed more people than the war did. Again they accepted what is and dealt with where to go from here.

Do we continue the quarantine?

That may the wrong question, the right question maybe can we continue? At what point does the prevention become worse than the disease? If we continue with this, what will happen? Well, the food will get short. Governors are telling farmers, ranchers, dairies, and slaughterhouses to close down. Even though we have trucks to haul the food, thank your local truck driver, there may come a point when there is nothing to load on the truck. So we could be in a situation with a food shortage caused by the government.

People are living in fear of getting a disease, which is for now unlikely. That may change. But despite the week ending April 11th, being one fo the deadliest in the United States for CV19, there is hope. The overall spread is decreasing in speed.

How do I live like this?

You don’t. You live the way you need to now, not the way you did in the past. The new reality lifestyle is waiting to be defined. But can you accept that? Acceptance is NOT the solution to all your problems, it is the first step in finding a solution. So f you accept the new reality the next choice is yours. Factories are re-tooling to make Personal Protection Equipment (PPE) for medical personal. It is time for me to re-tool myself for the new reality.

Where to start? How about if you S.P.E.A.K.?

SPEAK is an acronym for steps to go through when considering your day. There is a video here about it, presented by Verve Counseling LLC. Sara is an LCSW.

The idea being if you configure a structure around your life, you can have a better life. It does need to be in the confines of current reality. So can you find a job you can do, that will keep you as safe as possible? Sadly staying at home is not even a guarantee of health. Besides the health risks of being inside all the time, it is not reality. But if you have lost your job, can you find or even better create one that you can do with a limited risk of exposure.

We do need to think about limiting exposure. You can not eliminate it. People are getting sick with no discernable path to infection. Nobody they know has it. They have been home for two or three weeks, and only had limited contact with the outside world. So they “did everything right” and still ended up exposed.

So try building your SPEAK Model Structure in your life. See if you can’t bust out of that box. There is a possibility this may be our “armistice” year. But more about that next week.

Gregor - Back from the brink! From there and back again. A spiritual Hobbits journey.

Definition the hashtag #UDruzhok - Thank you Pavlov

Hashtags are often hijacked, their definition or uses are so unstructured they can be applied far too broadly.  I rarely use them because of so many change meanings and it is a way for folks to hijack my posts.  

So I want to define this one.  On a Bing and Google search on this date (03/26/2019), I find zero results.  So it is currently a "clean" hashtag. 

A bit of History - Ivan Pavlov won the 1904 Nobel Peace Prize for his work with dogs in conditioning behavior.  Through just training, he managed to teach dogs of various breeds to perform an involuntary response.  In this case, salivating.  

In social media, I constantly see people reacting to posts and events, often harshly.  It causes division in society.  Not that we should be dishonest to keep unity! That is a false unity that is currently plaguing the world.

True unity or "fellowship" (noun not verb), is achieved from a common foundation be it background or foundation of thought.  If the basic foundation is different.  there can not be true unity or fellowship.  

As an American, my core political foundation is based on the founding documents.  This means that all people ("men" in the royal Mankind term) are created equal.  And the purpose of government is to provide an environment to allow individuals "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", among other things.  As a Christian, I have to have a love (agapé) for all people. And I can't hold non-believers to the same standards I hold to myself (this is another blog post though). 

Because of the misuse of social and news media, we are striking pointless divisions.  People want "Unity through diversity" by force.  We join like-minded groups and expound on the evils of what "they" say and generally badger anybody who does not agree, specifically because their "diversity" is wrong.  

How does Ivan Pavlov fit in?  We have conditioned ourselves to react to the "bell" of our social media.  It rules us. Hence the term #UDruzhok - When you slam other people without evidence or logic because you heard this or believe that, you are being a bully-pawn.  

One of the findings of the "Mueller Report Summary" is that the Russian Government DID try to influence the campaign of 2016.  their purpose was to "to conduct disinformation and social media operations in the United States designed to sow social discord, eventually with the aim of interfering with the election." It also cleared Trump and all of his people of wrongdoing in this matter. So whenever you glorify or promote things that cause division, especially without evidence, you are playing into their hands.  This is true whether the Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Libertarian or any other party or group directs us to be unthinkingly aggressive.

When people react to the "bell" of politic or emotional responses I offer you a simple response to identifying such verbiage - #UDruzhok 

Druzhok (Root for #UDruzhok):
In Ukranian, it means "Bully". Russian "Boy Friend" (Interesting no?) - English Buddy. I'm going for the Ukrainian here. It was the name of one of Pavlov's dogs from his 1903 study.

Use: the reactors to the news and social media who are the Bully-Pawns fo their cherished political leanings.

We should have an open discussion and base our decisions on reality. I know that is a tall order, especially for those that believe things like socialism could actually work. Sure, if Jesus Christ was physically in charge, maybe. But the reality is a little different. Hence the reason for the Republic of the United States vs the Democracy of the United States.

The challenge is getting people to accept demonstrated reality. I've had to accept an imperfect president for my entire life. All humans are corruptible and make mistakes. But that is why our republic moves slowly. It is far harder to cause major damage that way. But if we stand on the foundation of reality, intellectual honesty, and actual fact, we can build a truly diverse culture that has a solid fellowship in the belief of individual freedom.

What does that mean? It means you ought not to be able to force people to do what you want, just because you want it.  If you don't like what they do, then don't patronize or associate with them.  But let them have their freedom no matter how much you "feel" they are wrong.  Being ruled by feelings is a dangerous path (Galatians 5:19-22).  

Conversely, just because you feel it does not make it true.  It is a fact that taking another person's life is a bad thing, in most circumstances. Taking somebodies money to pay for what you may think is "right" is also wrong.

As long as you allow me to exercise my natural freedoms, you can be any sexual orientation you want, you can do anything you want as long as it does not impact others.  There is probably another blog post on that idea alone.

But in the meantime...

Have an honest mind.  Trump may have done things illegally at some point.  But the whole Russian Conspiracy thing is a dead horse by any standards.  Find the evidence for the other, just make sure it is evidence, not hear-say. 

A final thought is in 2020, try voting for the candidate that will protect your freedom, not who will institute your will. Because if you can foist your will on me, eventually I may be able to do the same to you. Freedom is the ability to do as you will.  Even if I don't like it.  But remember that using the government to institute will, is using force. Robert A Heinlein said it well in "Starship Troopers" (It actually made it into the trashy movie):

“When you vote, you are exercising political authority, you're using force. And force, my friends, is violence. The supreme authority from which all other authorities are derived.” ~ Lieutenant Colonel Jean V. Dubois (Book character).

Gregor - Back from the brink! From there and back again. A spiritual Hobbits journey.

What is your "Why"?

As many of you may know, I’ve had some struggles over the last 10 years or so. Well probably longer than that, but things went south when I lost my job at Qualcomm Inc. I’ve talked about my weight problem and my continued recovery from compulsive overeating. Yet a solution has presented itself.

Recently I started working on some stuff, and I had an epiphany. Now I’ve not had many of those. But this one came because of looking at my past and how I’d behaved in those times. Lets call it a review of things long gone. In my studies, I was asked what my “why” was. Why is it you want to change your life in this manner.

What if you knew why you did something? I’m not talking about bad habits here. I’m talking about the times you were successful at anything. What made that time, event or action different then all the other times that failed, maybe even at doing something you tried before?

Let’s take my 250-pound weight loss, yes I still have 250 or so to go, but I’m halfway there. Something I’d tried to do before but never had success for this long. I just took my 3rd year token, In 12 step parlance that means it has been 3 years since I have compulsively ate food. Something I’ve never done before. But have tried hundreds of times before. What changed?

How I thought about the weight loss.

I’ve always known that eating better would produce good results, but that had not helped. I know I was killing myself and my family was suffering due to my obesity. But that “fluffy emotional appeal” was not enough.

On October 22nd 2013, I found a why. Well started to anyway. When I stopped worrying about what I ate, and focused on why I ate, everything changed.

I dumped my “red food” list and forgot about my “banned food” list. I focused on what became my “Abstinence Statement” – To eat for the healthy purpose of nutrition. Whenever I saw anything I wanted to eat, I simply asked myself was it for nutrition or some other reason?

That simple shift has changed my relationship with food. I still get to eat whatever I want, I just don’t want the same things anymore.

What if I could apply this to other areas of my life?

What if the why for going to work was more than earning money?

Part of what drove this point home to me is this video I ran across. It's less than 4 minutes, done by a comedian named Michael Jr. Watch this video and then ask yourself some questions:

1. Is what I’m doing right now my purpose?
2. Could I get excited helping other achieve success?
3. Is my happiness based on what I do and have or is it based on the why I do it?

In the video, Michael’s audience member sang 2 very different versions of the same song. One was accurate and well balanced, the second was full of his own soul.

Can we find our “own soul” in whatever we do?

I Can only speak for me when I say, the times I’ve been at my best, is when I had a purpose that inspired me. I lost my inspiration at Qualcomm Inc years ago, and my job performance showed it.

Now because I’ve learned to “question with boldness” everything, I’m going to school and opening a business. My journey could not be more exciting. Sure I have challenges, but it’s not what happens to me that matters, but what I do that sets me apart in the eyes of man and more importantly God.

Set yourself apart, find your why!

Gregor - Back from the brink! From there and back again. A spiritual Hobbits journey.

Overeaters Anonymous Big Book Style?

On June 17th, 2013, I walked in to a meeting of Overeaters Anonymous. I weighed 596 pounds, I was too heavy to get gastric bypass surgery, I'd lost my job to a combination of severe clinical depression and basic insanity. What caused which is up for debate, and I truly don't care. What is important is what has happened since I found OA and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over food. - That our lives had become unmanageable.


By the time many people walk in to any 12 step program, most people feel at some level they have completed  step one. I know when I walked in to OA on June 17th, 2013, I "knew" I had. Then I started to do step one as described in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I learned I was clueless. On June 17th, I was at step zero, I knew I needed help. What brought me to that room was a life of complete inability to control my food. I didn't yet realize my absolute lack of control.


A few years ago I lost some 70 pounds.  I then gained almost 140 back, topping out at some 624 pounds I wanted to get Gastric Bypass Surgery.  "Loose 50 pounds." Says the surgeon. I loose 80. I then gain back 50 without even thinking about it. I realize I need real help. So I go to OA. I receive a warm welcome.  And I stand around and said "What next?"  Somebody suggested I read the Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous (BBoAA). I picked up the 2nd addition for my Nook and started reading. I also continued to go to OA meetings.

As my first week progressed I noticed two important things:

1) The BBoAA spoke of being "recovered" and OA promised I could be "in recovery."

2) Many folks feel the solution depends on planning a menu and/or reporting your food to your sponsor and measuring your portions diligently. In other words: the secular solution would teach me how to obsess about food. This "tool" is a good one, but it is only a tool, not a solution.

I was already obsessed with food and I wanted to have that "position of neutrality-safe and protected" (BBoAA page 85 top paragraph) about eating I read about. I wanted my obsession "removed", I don't want to be "fighting it nor avoiding temptation." I want to live as normal a life as I could. I know from my studies I will never be a "normal eater" but I believe I can be a happy eater. Not through my efforts alone, that can only lead to obesity and death, but through learning to live with the outside help of a Higher Power.

Enter the Big Book Awakening. A group of people who strangely feel the methods that worked for 75% of the original 100 alcoholics in 1939, can still work.  And not just for alcohol but for any addiction/obsession.

I have come to my WOPR moment! In the 1983 movie WarGames, a military computer named WOPR (War Operations Programed Response) figures out the futility of Global Thermonuclear War from strategic games like Chess and Tic Tac Toe. The computer played these games, against itself, always loosing. The computer "Joshua" realized one side or the other might survive but Joshua always lost.

Of the 12 steps, a thorough step one will show you, if you are honest and really are a compulsive _____ (eater, drinker, addict etc.) that there is no way you can quit on your own. Why? Because "Remember we deal with alcohol (food, drugs, nicotine etc) cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too powerful." (BBoAA pg 58) The reason our addictions are so "cunning, baffling, powerful" is we are fighting ourselves. The only real solution is an outside influence or a higher power.  Anything less is just another diet club.

On my own I am playing Chess against my self. Pixar explored this in a short called Geri's Game:

Meet Geri, this kindly old gentlemen with glasses is my addiction, my spiritual malady.  I know he looks harmless but just watch what lengths "he" will go to to win! His opponent is my own personal ego looking to get "clean.".


When ever "I" think I'm winning, my spiritual malady will cheat.  I can't beat a game against my self, especially since "I" will cheat. The only way to win is for me to not play.  A common catch phrase used by AA/OA is "let go and let God." Sounds great, and how do you do that? As a religious person myself, I've never been able to do that.

A true alcoholic or eating disorder victims became drunks, addicts or food obsessive  because they wanted a level of "control." As spiritually infirm people being in charge is what we thought we were doing in being obsessive. But in truth we controlled ourselves into what ever oblivion we chose. Why? Because we are not capable of clearly thinking, by any definition we are insane.  We over or under think, we "misremember" our personal experiences so when we pick up the we are "We'll do it better" or "it wasn't that bad last time" so we push on. Last time you gained 140 0pounds, were so depressed you lost your job and your house, or worse.  "But this tine is different......"(Note: A Lie)

Left to my own devices I will screw it up again.

When do you know you are ready to move to step 2? When you reach that WOPR moment.  When you realize the only solution is for you to stop playing the game.

Gregor - Back from the brink! From there and back again. A spiritual Hobbits journey.

My Secular Job as a Christian.

Was Christ a political figure? 
Was the first century church a political force?
Is that what God intended?

These are questions I have pondered over the last 20 years.  As I have admitted, I fell away from the church  and some of these questions are what kept me away.  One of the things I did when I worked the 3rd shift behind a computer, was to study the Constitution of the United States of America.  I read the broadsides used during the drafting of the Articles of Confederation and Deceleration of Independence, as well as the Federalist Papers, a collection of essays written in newspapers at the time to educate or convince folks regarding the wisdom of a Constitutional Republic versus a Confederation of Free States.

The founding fathers all believed that a Christian moral society was capable of freedom.  John Adams went so far as to say that moral behavior by the individual is required for a free society:

"Salesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for Liberty, but it is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the principles on which freedom can securely stand"  - John Adams

Some of our greatest founding fathers were focused on a government that would allow for individual freedom.  To that end, they trusted in their Creator who granted the liberty to us. Some even felt as if it was a given that America was always to be a Christian Nation:


"Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers and it is the duty, as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian Nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers."
-John Jay

Mr. Jay was a founding father, the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and the Chief Negotiator with Britain in gaining or independence. 

On the other hand, God wants us to NOT be concerned regarding the ways of the world and focus on what we need to do to be His children. Does our history indicate we should be a theocracy or a true bastion of freedom and welcome all?  Part of the brilliance I see in our origin as a nation is how the founding values are completely applicable and just as important today as it was 230 years ago. So what am I to do today as a Christian with the moral legislation that has been passed or overturned in recent history? Simple - Be a Christian!

Christ Jesus Himself set the tone back in the early days of his ministry in an exchange with the Pharisees (Hebrew leaders at the time) who were trying to "entangle him in His words" (Matt 22:15). In hopes of getting Rome to arrest Jesus and take him off of their hands, the Pharisees  asked about tribute or taxes.  Now Jesus had just described his church as a Nation coming.  The thought of an earthly kingdom ruled by Christ was treason to Rome.  Christ looked at the tribute, a penny with the image of Caesar on it and said "... Render unto Caesar that which Caesars." (Matthew 16:19).

Was Christ a political figure?  No.  At every opportunity, Christ had people looking at themselves individually.  It was not Christ's purpose to overthrow Rome, or the physical Nation of Israel.

Was the first century church a political force? No, not really.  Not until about 300 AD when it was starting to be acceptable to allow and tolerate those crazy Christians. How much of that was the first century church and how much was the beginning of the Roman Church, I can't tell you.  You'll have to decide.

Is that what God intended?  Was it God's intent to create a nation in spirit and in Christ that had no earthly  kingdom? More than that, I would propose that God always had a view of His nation where He alone was king. The entry requirements changed over history. At first you walked with God, then you were born to his family and now we have a right to become citizens of God's nation.  There are duties to follow his design, and like previous methods, we are then born in to God's Nation through our belief in Christ being strong enough
to support the action of baptism first, then living  in God's will.

Paul teaches in 1st Corinthians that we are not to associate with immoral people inside the church:
1st Corinthians 5:9-13
9  I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people.  10  Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.  11  But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person.  12  For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside?  13  But those who are outside God judges. Therefore "put away from yourselves the evil person."

Notice that Paul does not say we should condemn people "in the world". Paul stresses that we are to associate with the world, folks outside the church. If we do not associate with   "9...sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world." .  From a practical point of view, how can we share Christ with folks if we hid in a christian commune some place? No, if we are to share the gospel we are required to participate in the world.

As for immoral behavior outside the church Paul says: "12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13  But those who are outside God judges. Therefore "put away from yourselves the evil person."

So as is consistent throughout the Old Testament, it is God's job to decide on what is to happen  to those outside of Christ . God is the only judge.

Note Paul commands us to not associate with continually immoral brethren in the church. Why is it fair to judge our fellow Christians but not those in the world?  As Christians we have each chosen to hold ourselves to a higher standard.  We as individuals would still not be judges, we as Christians hold our bretheren to the standards of God's law. The principles of Christ.

So as a Americans what do we need to do with the immoral?  The Constitution of the United States restricts the Government from infringing on individual liberties. The law of the land was never intended to be a moral compass.  As John Adams said "... but it is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the principles on which freedom can securely stand." As is stressed by our founding fathers and by God through the prophets and apostles, individual responsibility is what makes a great society. Individuals need to tend to their personal morals and through that we honor the values of freedom and liberty that this country was founded on.

I am sure like Paul, our founding fathers did not imagine the world we live in. today.  However God does know.  And God asks us to look to our family in Christ and to teach (not judge) the people outside of the family of Christ.

Gregor - Back from the brink! From there and back again. A spiritual Hobbit's journey.